The pee goes in the cup....
Anyone on a long term med has probably had blood drawn every so often to check levels. I just so happen to be on a medication where the levels are very important. The results of the blood work determines if I need to up the dose or maintain.
My drug just happens to be lithium. If you're not bipolar, it's a medication used to control mania (that's a whole other entry...). I hate with very part of my being, to take that dreaded order to the lab and get what I call "the look" from the phlebotomist.
You see, I also suffer from severe anxiety, and when I'm out in situations that make me uncomfortable, I flip out. But not in a way that you would think. I sweat. And when I say sweat, I mean I'm drenched in a matter of minutes.
So here I stand, with the word LITHIUM, written across the piece of paper. Knowing that the phlebotomist took one look at that and thought NUT, I start to sweat. While I'm trying to collect myself, she hands me a cup and tells me she needs a urine sample as well.
So I take my "pee cup" into the bathroom, and try to figure out where to sit everything to get the job done. I have a real problem with public bathrooms. To the point that I will hold pee as long as necessary to avoid using one. But this time, it had to be done. I filled up my "pee cup" and sat it in the sink while I'm getting my undies up and flush the commode with my foot. I walk over to put the lid on my cup, only to ACCIDENTALLY spill my pee into the sink. It's like liquid gold, pouring down the drain.
My first thought was, I'll just sneak out of the lab and never return. Then I realize that won't work, it's a small lab and they'll see me sneak out. But if I tell the tech that I've spilled all my pee, she'll definitely know that I'm a nut!
After I somewhat collected myself, I looked at my cup and realized there was still a small amount left in the bottom. Maybe I could fake it, tell the tech that's all I could pee, and maybe it will be enough. At this point I'm sweating like a whore in church, but I wash my hands and wipe my forehead.
I left the bathroom, nearly soaked from sweat, and explained that's all the pee I had. And....it worked! Crisis diverted!
This whole event took all of 15 minutes, but for me, it might as well been half a day. Like I needed to go home and take a nap! I would like to say this sort of thing rarely happens, but I can't. As I sit here and type this, it's actually hilarious to think what I must've looked like when I came out of the bathroom.
My drug just happens to be lithium. If you're not bipolar, it's a medication used to control mania (that's a whole other entry...). I hate with very part of my being, to take that dreaded order to the lab and get what I call "the look" from the phlebotomist.
You see, I also suffer from severe anxiety, and when I'm out in situations that make me uncomfortable, I flip out. But not in a way that you would think. I sweat. And when I say sweat, I mean I'm drenched in a matter of minutes.
So here I stand, with the word LITHIUM, written across the piece of paper. Knowing that the phlebotomist took one look at that and thought NUT, I start to sweat. While I'm trying to collect myself, she hands me a cup and tells me she needs a urine sample as well.
So I take my "pee cup" into the bathroom, and try to figure out where to sit everything to get the job done. I have a real problem with public bathrooms. To the point that I will hold pee as long as necessary to avoid using one. But this time, it had to be done. I filled up my "pee cup" and sat it in the sink while I'm getting my undies up and flush the commode with my foot. I walk over to put the lid on my cup, only to ACCIDENTALLY spill my pee into the sink. It's like liquid gold, pouring down the drain.
My first thought was, I'll just sneak out of the lab and never return. Then I realize that won't work, it's a small lab and they'll see me sneak out. But if I tell the tech that I've spilled all my pee, she'll definitely know that I'm a nut!
After I somewhat collected myself, I looked at my cup and realized there was still a small amount left in the bottom. Maybe I could fake it, tell the tech that's all I could pee, and maybe it will be enough. At this point I'm sweating like a whore in church, but I wash my hands and wipe my forehead.
I left the bathroom, nearly soaked from sweat, and explained that's all the pee I had. And....it worked! Crisis diverted!
This whole event took all of 15 minutes, but for me, it might as well been half a day. Like I needed to go home and take a nap! I would like to say this sort of thing rarely happens, but I can't. As I sit here and type this, it's actually hilarious to think what I must've looked like when I came out of the bathroom.
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